can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
