The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
