I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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