His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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