ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
