Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
