I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
