i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
