Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
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We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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