And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
