My room smells like vodka and shame
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
