YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize