people are starting to question the shark bite story
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
