I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
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