i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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