I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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