Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I wish there were birth control emojis
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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