After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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