remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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