what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
