i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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