I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
