he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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