Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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