did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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