I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
