You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize