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I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
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