Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL