I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob