i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
