We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
