I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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