You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So much rum. So many feels.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
