so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
