dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
