So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
