I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
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He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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