I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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