I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
