i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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