i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
