haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
