My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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