That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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