Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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