Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I need a beard to bite.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
