So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
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I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
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I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I love you. Go after that dick
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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