i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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