My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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