so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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