For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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