i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
