is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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