I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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