grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
