I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
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Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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