There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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