awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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