i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
