I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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