I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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