He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
